Teens: Who Am I?
Being a teenager is quite difficult. We have all been there. Teenagers go through puberty changes that really freak them out: hair in weird places, pimples all over, menstruating, awkward voice changes, an attraction toward the opposite sex. They also go through a phase where they think there parents know nothing. (Don’t worry, they’ll come around. You probably did.) It’s a crucial time for a teenager to learn who they are and you can help them, even though they think you know nothing. It is so tough to feel awkward.
Being a teenager is a weird phase. A kid is in between being a young child and being an adult. They feel like they look dumb if they play outside but yet aren’t old enough to drive a car yet (initial teenage years anyway). It’s a hard time because they struggle to find themselves but yet find an obligation to fit in with their peers. No kid wants to be a weird outcast at school or camp or wherever their surroundings are. A teenager’s will to find their place in society can be quite anxiety producing.
Let’s take for example that sometimes kids will hide behind their intelligence, pretending to be dumb when they’re really quite gifted. It’s supposedly not cool to be a brainiac. Or how about the kids that wear all black and the boys use eyeliner and combat boots. It’s all about self-expression. Don’t be alarmed that your kid has strange behaviors. They’re just trying to find their niche and that is greatly influenced by their peers (and the media).
It is important that you encourage your child to explore their interests. Maybe they like sports, art, music, writing, reading, etc. Take an interest in their hobbies and show your support. At a time in their lives when confidence is low, it will help boost their self esteem. Try to talk to them and tel them you were there once. They may be receptive and tell you that you don’t understand. Tell them personal stories about yourself growing up. You may get a good laugh and they get to know you and realize that you turned out okay.
The teenage years are just the beginning of self-discovery. As we continue our journey on becoming more and more independent, we uncover who we really are. (I never knew who I was until I was past the age of 25). Learning who you are is a constant and actually is quite imperative to thrive in environments that help you to grow even more as a person. They’re just beginning that phase though and we have to consider that as moms. It’s a good parenting skill to kind of just go along with their thoughts and feelings and physical appearances. It may not be your idea of how your child would be, but don’t fret over who you want them to be. They’re trying to impress you and win your approval too even though it doesn’t seem like it. Try to let them be who they are rather than who you want to be. Embrace them, love them and support them as they try to uncover the true treasure of who they really are.
